


Everywhere, At Once

by Lady_Felucia



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Love, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Star Wars - Freeform, The First Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8910532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Felucia/pseuds/Lady_Felucia
Summary: A galaxy far, far away that still thinks arranged marriages are a viable concept.This is a story that had been in my head for awhile, bits of dialogue and character description coming to me before I even knew what the story was. Also many non-cannon/completely made up names of places and planets, and occasionally species, in this universe.Important, as well, to keep in mind that I gave Kylo mind-reading abilities that are more similar to Edward's in Twilight ((cringe, I know, cringe))rather than what was depicted in The Force Awakens. In my story Ren hears the thoughts around him almost constantly, whereas in the movie it seemed it was an ability he could switch on and off at will.





	1. Chapter 1

Ren stood on the high platform in the vicious wind, a look of contempt on his face underneath his mask as he surveyed the Troops going about their daily combatant exercises.

He stood, arms folded, and shifted his weight from leg to leg as he listened to the dull, repetitive mutterings from the minds below him.

"Really need to increase my speed there--"

"Wonder what's being served in the mess hall today--"

"Force, I forgot to polish these boots today--I hope Captain Phasma doesn't notice , --"

"How am I out of breath already? I really need to train in the gym--"

He sighed in boredom. He had been sent out here by Supreme Leader Snoke, the first of what he feared to be many future times, to "observe" the troops alongside General Traylin, who was standing a few feet away from him, arms clasped behind her back, eyes circling the yard below in an endless loop.

She stood stiff and rigid, moving nothing but her eyes despite the fact that Ren could ~feel~ how cold she was, how badly she wanted to hunch and shove her hands deep into her overcoat, which was --a tiny bit too small for her, in his opinion.

He idly wondered at what level of self control, or perhaps masochistic tendencies, prohibited her from just doing what she wanted.

He turned his mind back to the Troops below, shifting through endless mundane thoughts and feelings as he kept an ear out for possible "triggers".

He sighed again; he hated being punished like this, even though it was never referred to as "punishment" by Snoke, he was no fool. He knew.

He knew that Snoke blamed him in large for the defected soldier, FN-2187, and for not picking up sooner on what would have been very obvious inklings of a betrayal that ultimately ended in the destruction of Starkiller Base, and the loss of countless important lives; among them the loss of General Hux, which Ren still felt bad about.

Or as bad as someone like him could feel, anyway. 

As a result of these incidents, Ren was now "encouraged" to take a more active role in the military proceedings around the base.

Which he did, at least on the outside.

So far he hadn't been privy to catching any unusual thoughts in the ordinarily mindless Troops, just countless litanies of training drills, and otherwise unimportant thoughts.

" . . . Or at least a doll. One of those pretty ones from Alexerian. Honestly don't see how one toy could have defiled my entire life, but then again, who am I to argue?

He tilted his head, wondering at what he was hearing, before realizing the thoughts were coming from the woman standing next to him.

Her inner voice was very soft and quiet, with a faintly musical pitch to it; almost like someone humming to themselves; it contrasted greatly to the voice he heard her use out-loud, when addressing the Troops, or other Officers.

Her inner voice was smooth and contemplative, and listening to it was somewhat soothing, and a significant difference from the other usually gruff voices he heard.

She ranted on for a bit, in her mind, her thoughts focusing primarily on her childhood and her father; and for some reason an insistent, repetitive return to the concept of toys.

Hearing such childish thoughts from this outwardly stern strict woman made him smile a little behind the mask, and before he could stop himself he was asking her out loud "No dolls?"

She turned her head towards him, delicate eyebrows furrowing, and asked "Excuse me?" in a slightly confused tone.

He repeated his question and she paused for a moment, before turning back to face the troops.

She gave some answer about how her father didn't let her have dolls, he didn't believe in toys or something, and before he could think the words were falling out of his mouth:

"Your father sounds like an asshole."

He didn't know why he said that out loud; even by his standards, it was rude.

Rude on top of rude considering he was talking to her in the first place because he had been eavesdropping in her head. 

He didn't know what he expected her to answer back, if anything at all; it certainly wasn't "I suppose one could see it like that" in an impressively indifferent-sounding tone.

He was silenced for a few moments, and turned back to watching the troops, when her voice coming towards him startled him a bit.

She asked if he had never had any toys, as a child. He chuckled to himself before answering her with a brief blurb of his childhood training with his Uncle Luke, at the Jedi temple on Vabier.

Seriously, he probably would have been happier if Luke HAD encouraged them to play once in a while to let go and have fun and be what the actually were: children.

Not future guardians of the peace in training.

Not that that last part had really worked out for him, anyway. 

At any rate, in the present, he was feeling--oddly refreshed. Hearing her soft voice and her dry wit recalled memories of his childhood, of his--mother. But no, that was painful to think of, now, so he pushed it aside.

He noticed that she kept referring to him as Lord Ren, which, okay, it was his official title, but it seemed so--stiff, and formal, and somewhat intimidating.

Oddly, he had no desire to intimidate her, as he did others.

And so he said, in as friendly a tone he could manage with the voice modulator, "Kylo."

She seemed somewhat uncomfortable calling him by his first name. He could guess why: she seemed to be a person who thrived on the idea of order, of discipline, and rank.

Calling someone by their first name, even if that person requested it, did not really fall into military protocol.

Nevertheless, she consented to his request, adding that "Id tell you to call me by MY first name--only I hate it."

"What's your--" he began, then squinched his eyes curiously as her name involuntarily rose to the top of her mind. "Aedus?"

The controlled expression on her face finally shifted, contorted for a moment into a deep scowl that was really more of a pout, and, after his less than tactful observation that Aedus was typically a male name, launched into a small explanation of how her name came to be.

Which again reinforced his opinion that her father must have been a real asshole, although this time he refrained from stating his thoughts out loud.

He awkwardly backtracked, as he tried to tell her that Aedus not necessarily a 'bad' name; just different. He also picked the idea that her father probably loved her a great deal to give her such a powerful name. 

The Troops were filing back into the building below them, and Aedus was watching with an odd look on her face, as if in reaction to what he had just said. 

Finally she turned to go back into the building herself, but before she left she walked right up to him, looked up into his mask, and replied to his last comment with something to the effect of "Love? I wouldn't know a thing about that."

He turned and watched her as she went back into the building, trying not to think about the fact that, for the first time in as long as he could remember, he had had real conversation with an actual person.


	2. Chapter 2

She had no idea how this could have happened to her; it was the worse thing she could possibly imagine happening.

Worse than being captured, worse than failing the Supreme Leader, even worse than death:

She was sick.

Apparently she had picked up the persistent strain of flu of that was spreading around the base.

At first she tried to ignore it; going about her duties and commanding her Troops with the same enthusiastic commands and orders; yet after awhile she could no longer ignore the feelings of tiredness and utter misery that weighed down her every action.

Supreme Leader himself had sent a directive down that she needed to stay in her quarters and rest until recovered; the Captains should be more than capable of handling themselves properly in her absence.

On one hand this bothered her; she was raised to never show weakness or discomfort in front of your superiors, and the fact that the Snoke considered her temporarily incapable of handling her duties due to illness made her internally cringe. 

On the other hand, it was nice to be able to rest, and recuperate, and get herself back to the 100% that her Troops expected and deserved from her.

As with most other things about herself, she had developed an exceptionally strong immune system. It took quite a strong virus to put her fully out of commission, which was exactly what this particular germ was accomplishing.

She spent most of her time reading, or watching documentary Holofilms of the past wars; or sleeping.

This illness was taking a lot out of her, and she was more tired than she had been in a long time.

At first she wasn't able to eat much more than tea and toast, but by the third day her appetite had come back enough to desire Gomorran soup.

She sent a message down to the kitchen on her datapad, requesting that one of the serving droids bring her up a meal in one hour.

She would rather have a droid than one of the human staff; she hated the thought of anyone seeing her looking so indisposed. 

While she waited for the droid, she took a quick, hot shower, relishing the way the steam opened up her stuffy sinuses, if only briefly.

A short time later, wrapped in a floor length black robe with her hair still slightly damp, she heard a series of quick raps on her door. Expecting just to see one of the many gray serving droids with a tray of food, she didn't bother to tie off her robe, merely holding it closed with one hand while turning the doorknob with the other.

There was no droid standing there.

Kylo Ren was there, instead. Standing taller than tall in her doorway with a tray of food held carefully in his two gloved hands, and a book tucked under his arm.

Seeing him standing there was so unexpected that for a moment she wasn't sure what to say. And presumably, seeing her standing there in a robe with wet hair surprised him for a moment, too; neither spoke for the space of a few moments.

Then, opening the door wider, she found her voice and said "Lord R -- er, Kylo. This is a -- surprise. Er- come in" as she stepped aside, making room for him to pass her and set the tray down on the little table by the window. 

She softly shut the door and turned to face him, subtly pulling her robe closed a little tighter. He sounded unusually tentative, even with the mask, as he said "I'm sorry, I just--I heard you were sick and I thought I might come by to see you, I saw the serving droid out in the hallway and figured I could just bring you the food myself. Oh also I thought I might bring you a book to read. You know--in case you got bored or something."

The words all came out in a rush, and she could tell he was feeling unusually nervous, for him; probably the sight of seeing her looking so pale and (ugh) sick.

Or maybe it was just the rarity of seeing her out of uniform and wearing everyday clothes, for the first time. Yes, that must be it.

"Please--sit down" she said, and as he did so she swiftly walked behind him to the couch to grab her robe-tie and secure it quickly and firmly around her waist. 

"I'm--sorry I look, uh, messy, like this. I just stepped out of the Refresher and wasn't expecting to see a, uh. Human."

He said nothing as she sat in the chair opposite his, looking at the tray. There was a large bowl of soup, some crackers, a tiny bowl of mixed fruit, and a large piece of chocolate cake.

"Ugh, chocolate" she said, not realizing she had spoken out loud. Then, "Would you--like to join me for lunch? There's more than enough soup here for two, and quite seriously I despise chocolate, so the cake is up for grabs. The fruit too."

There was a slight pause, and then the man reached up to the two mechanisms on the sides of his helmet, released them, and pulled the helmet off his head, which he sat gingerly on the table. 

"I'd --like that, thanks", he said, briefly sweeping his fingers through his unkempt hair before reaching for the little plate of cake and taking a big mouthful. He chewed for a few seconds before saying "No soup, though--I can't stand soup."

She snickered, taking a small sip from her spoon before saying "How can anyone not like soup?"

His mouth turned up in a lopsided grin, as he said, mock-seriously, "I think the bigger question is, how can anyone not like chocolate?"

She wrinkled her nose a little. "Because it's disgusting, that's how. I never understood the fascination some people have with such a vile concoction."

He shook his head slightly, taking another mouthful of cake. She was about to ask him what foods he DID like, then, other than cake, but was stopped with a nasty coughing fit, which had her hunched over almost completely in her chair, turned totally away from the table so as not to spread germs, coughing into the crook of her elbow.

It still hurt her chest, but not as badly as in the beginning. The medicines were easing some of the symptoms. Still, it DID hurt, and despite her best efforts not to, tiny whimpering noises escaped her lips in between coughs.

When she turned back around, automatically reaching for the small bottle of hand sanitizer she kept within reach at all times, and more than embarrassed at the display of vulnerability, she found him looking at her with an odd expression on his face.

Worry?

Maybe.

She was not used to seeing that look on others' faces regarding herself, and it was especially odd to see it on his.

SHE was worried that the coughing might have disgusted him, or make him leery about touching any more food, but it didn't seem to faze him much.

He seemed about to say something, but instead he simply reached over to the little fruit bowl and popped a few grapes into his mouth, chewing slowly and methodically.

With his mask off and his face exposed, his brow slightly furrowed, and a tiny dab of chocolate at the corner of his mouth, he looked--young.

Very young.

At 31 she was often mistaken for being much younger, due to her height and her fine features.

Yet the man sitting at her table seemed almost younger than her, which was odd when one took into account the visual scenery of his height, and the scary mask, combined with the swath of fear and intimidation that he often left in his wake.

When he actually smiled, it added a further element of unreality to the picture, making him look criminally young. Rather more like a tall, mischievous teenager than a grown man, a Dark Lord, the brutal enforcer of the First Order and apprentice to the powerful Sith Lord Supreme Leader Snoke, and --

"29."

"What?"

"I'm 29 years old. I --heard you wondering. 29."

She resisted the urge to scowl--she still disliked having her thoughts read--and pushed a few stray, wavy strands of still-damp hair out of her face before replying, "Huh. So I AM older than you."

"So it would seem", he said, and smiled again, making him look younger still, and slowly finished off what was left of his cake. 

"Not that you look like it, or anything. You know."

Was he--actually paying her a--compliment? Wow.

"How old do you think I look, Lord Ren?" she asked him.

He cleared his throat, looking up at her and avidly licking the chocolate frosting off of his spoon. 

"The first day I met you I thought you were 16, possibly 17. You're--" he gestured to her with his free hand, "tiny, and you move so quickly, and your face, it's, well, like a doll's face."

She smiled, thinking about his words. She had never really considered herself to be attractive, or even what one would call "pretty", before.

Growing up, mirrors were discouraged in her fathers household because they "promoted vanity", so she had only the faintest inkling of what she looked like before she was sent away to the Academy as a young woman. 

Her skin was a rich tanned toffee hue, offset by bold starlight-silver colored hair that, when not tied neatly back, fell in a swirl of waves nearly to the middle of her back. Her facial features were very delicate, miniscule, with a button nose, small ears, thin pale pink lips, all contrasted by very large, heavily lashed green eyes.

She was about to get up and put his empty plate into the garbage, and the half eaten bowls of fruit and soup into the Conservator to save for later, when he said "No, don't get up."

As she watched, he mildly stretched out his hand in the direction of his plate, and it rose in mid-air, traveling in a straight line towards her garbage and landing neatly in the can. Then he gestured towards her soup and fruit bowls, and they too rose, liquid sloshing slightly, and went towards the Conservator. The door opened itself and the bowls set themselves down softy on an empty shelf, then the door closed once more.

Other than seeing him with his lightsaber, and experiencing first hand his mind reading abilities, she had never actually seen someone use the force up-close before.

It was--interesting.

Magical, almost, to see how the objects moved without him having to physically touch them.

She tried to act nonchalant about the display, however, and merely said "Thank you" with a small smile.

He must have read that in her mind, because he then levitated a napkin to his mouth, wiped his lips carefully with it, then floated it towards the garbage before saying, with a grin, "You're welcome".

"Can you do that with, anything at all?" she asked curiously.

His eyes lit up as if being offered a challenge, and with a playful smirk he intoned "Like--what?"

And suddenly, before she grasped what was happening, she found that the chair beneath her was lifting off the floor, with her in it.

In a startled panic she instinctively reached both hands towards the table in an effort to anchor herself to the ground. Kylo, seeing her do this, burst out in a deep, chortling laugh, and the chair went gently towards the ground once more.

Still laughing, he held out his hands in a defensive gesture. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. I wasn't aware you were afraid of heights."

Her face burned with embarrassment. "I'm NOT afraid of heights--you just, you surprised me, is all. But I guess that answers my question, doesn't it?" And absurdly, she found herself grinning back at her amused visitor.

The smiling and the unexpected closeness of the moment made her feel a bit flustered, so she tried to find a distraction.

She eyed the small book he had brought with him and set on the table. "So what kind of book is that? Comic book?"

"Funny. No, actually, it's called Braxbury. It's about a man who's paid to kill other people, and then he finds out someone has placed a hit on him. It's really good--at least I think it is."

She smiled, taking the book and thumbing through the pages, which, judging by the worn look and the many earmarks, had been read many times.

"This is--really nice of you. Thanks. Although I've got to admit, I didn't peg you for being much of a reader-type."

"Well, I do a LITTLE more than slash up people with my light saber, you know."

"Speaking of which--do you, um, have it with you right now?"

He made a face and said in a slightly indignant tone "Well of course. What kind of a Knight would leave their sword at home?

He unclipped the cross guard saber from his belt, and set it carefully down on the table. It seemed so--harmless, like this. Unignited. Silent.

But still powerful.

"Only if I can help you."

"Huh?"

"You want to hold it while it's activated. To see what It feels like. Only if I help you. You're--rather small, and I presume you've never held one before. I don't want you to cut your own head off or something."

She balked a little at being told she needed help with something , but had to concede that he was probably right.

Also--seriously--AGAIN with this mind-reading thing.

He picked up the saber and placed it in her hand, gently. He admonished her to be careful of the button, and to keep her thumb away from it until he was ready. 

He moved to stand behind her, and gently yet firmly gripped her wrist to steady it.

Something about him touching her bare hand like this, even though his own hands were gloved, felt--odd.

She became very /aware/ of his presence behind her, of his--energy.

Of the way he towered over her.

The way his black robes had rustled when he walked.

This close, she could even smell him a little, through the fog of her stuffy nasal passages; a pleasant blend that reminded her of campfires, of spices and cinnamon. 

For a moment, just a quick moment, she felt a little dizzy, and she wondered what it would be like to lean fully back into the chest of this man, to have his large strong arms wrapped around her, supporting her.

There for a second, then gone.

She attributed the dizziness and the --other--thing, to being sick.

Tired, and mildly hallucinating, and--yeah.

Clearly.

She quickly recovered her mind as she realized he was speaking to her.

"Ok, now, slowly push the button, and brace yourself for the weight, and keep your arm taut and held out from you."

With his hand on hers, steadying it, she took a deep breath and slowly pushed the button.

Glowing, growling red light shot out immediately, and he was right--it WAS heavy. Heavier than she had imagined.

And bright!

Up close like this, and standing out against the dim lighting of her quarters, the effect of the red light was almost blinding.

She wondered how this must look from the other end, seeing this magnificent light coming at you head-on and knowing your life was about to end--but being unable to look away from the intoxicating beauty of it.

She experimentally swept her arm slowly back and forth, liking the sound the saber made as it cut through the air, liking the feeling of danger and power it brought with it.

And his hand never left hers the entire time. 

She had had training with different sort of rapiers before, of course. One did not achieve the rank she had without being largely acquainted with a plethora of different weapons, tools of warfare.

However, she had never held a light saber before. It felt different from the other swords that she had used in the past.

It was somehow more--elegant.

Personal.

Almost--intimate.

She had no Force sensitivity herself, but somehow she could sense how this saber was /connected/ to Ren, in a way that was more than merely physical. As if it possessed a life, somehow, a distinctive vitality that was in tune with Ren's own, making it as much a part of him as his brain, or his heart.

Force users must be very strong to be able to wield these things, and do so with such precision, such grace, she thought as she reluctantly pushed the button to turn it off.

She would have liked to have held it longer, but her arm was already getting tired. ALL of her was feeling tired, in fact. 

His hand--was still on hers. It lingered there for a moment longer before abruptly pulling away, taking the lightsaber with it.

When he moved away she felt strangely cold, and MUCH more tired than before.

He must have sensed this, or read her mind, because he said "I should--go. Let you get your rest."

"Thank you, K-Kylo," she said, wrapping her arms around her chest and biting on her lower lip.

"It was really nice of you to come by like this."

He nodded, going to pick up his helmet, hesitating a little before lifting it to his head.

"I'll -- come back, again. Some time. If you're still not better. If-- if you don't mind."

She smiled a tired smile. "I don't mind".

And suddenly, horribly, the strongest urge came over her; she wanted--to hug him. To cross the floor over to where he stood by the door, lean up on her tip toes and throw her arms around his neck.

What the Force?

Thinking of how--inappropriate that would be, physical displays like that among two commanding officers, in the private quarters of one of them--yes, very inappropriate.

So she fought off the urge and instead crossed her arms tighter over her chest, digging her nails into her elbows. 

The look on his face, when she crossed her arms, was, hesitant. Almost--surprised. Or disappointed? Like, he had expected a different action--or, if he had had the same urge she had.

He seemed about to speak; instead he paused, cleared his throat, and again stated that he would return again sometime; before swiftly putting his helmet over his head and walking out the door.

She stared at the door for a moment, before turning and walking into her bedroom, with the book he had left her.

She pulled the covers up to her chest and laid on her side, reading.

She got about 20 pages into the first chapter before sleep silently crept into her brain and body, like a fog.

She closed her eyes and drifted off, a small, content smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

Aedus stood outside the door to Ren's quarters, feeling a little awkward but intending to go on with this.

He had been kind enough to visit her a few times last week when she was ill, and now she meant to return the favor.

She felt that she should be bringing him something of substance, such as soup, but seeing as how he despised soup she decided to go with the option of a chocolate protein shake.

It hadn't seemed quite "chocolatey" enough to her at first so she had melted several chocolate bars and added them to the shake, stirring until it was blended in with the rest of the mix.

She held the drink in one hand and timidly knocked with the other.

There was no response at first so she knocked a little louder, and this time she heard a distinct snarl and a shuffling towards the door.

Kylo pulled open the door with an intimidating glower etched all over his face--but it quickly fell away as he saw who his visitor was.

She was shocked, for a moment, at his appearance.

His already pale skin had taken on an even lighter tone, almost like snow, and there were dark bruised-looking patches underneath both eyes. 

His normally disheveled hair was even more chaotic than usual, draping almost completely over the left side of his face and the rest sticking up in sporadic patches in the back.

He was wearing what looked like a dark brown bathrobe, with a pocket on each hip and a tie at the front.

"Kylo. I'm so sorry--I heard you were ill, I think you must have gotten my cold. I--brought you something. Thought it might make you feel better," she rushed, holding out the drink towards him.

He took it with one hand, looked at her, and placed his other hand on her shoulder to gently guide her into the room.

"This is nice of you. Really nice."

"Hey it's the least I could do. Like I said, I'm pretty sure you caught this from me," she shrugged, looking around the room. The light was very dim in here and it made it a little hard to see.

There were a number of books and various pieces of clothing scattered around the floor and the coffee table.

Partially eaten food, some in bowls, some in cups, some in wrappers, lay strewn about the table and counter I the kitchen.

She smiled a little, shaking her head as she gingerly picked her way to the sofa and sat down.

Kylo walked around in a hurried pattern trying to pick up the things that were directly in front of her.

"No no you don't have to do that. Your place is--interesting," she said, leaning back into the actually-quite-comfortable couch.

He stopped what he was doing and came to sit beside her, taking small sips of his milkshake and grinning at the taste.

"This tastes so much better than the protein shakes I normally make. What did you put in this?"

"I melted some candy bars and added it in" she confessed, pleased that it had such a good effect on him. "But it's probably not very 'healthy' with the candy."

"That's okay; I'm not a very healthy person."

He slugged down the rest fairly quickly, running his finger along the inside of the cup to get the last sticky remnants out of the bottom.

"So how are you feeling?" 

"Lots better than I was a few days ago," he said, setting down his empty glass on the cluttered table. "I can more or less breathe, now. It was hard to before."

"I'm glad I'm not having that problem anymore. I think I can handle anything except a stuffed-up nose. It's the one thing I fall to pieces over."

He smiled, shaking his head a little as he said "I highly doubt that you fall apart over /anything/."

"Well, wait, I lied. It's not just a stuffy nose; it's spiders, too."

He smirked, nodding his head and agreeing "I could see that, actually."

He combed his fingers through his hair, glancing sideways at her before continuing "You don't--have to be anywhere soon? Do you?"

"Oh," she said, beginning to rise, "I'm sorry, you must be tired, I'll just be--"

"No, no," he cut her off, putting his hand on her shoulder to stop her from getting up. "I just--I was wondering if maybe you wanted to watch a Holofilm with me? If you didn't have anywhere to be for a while?"

"Oh," she said again, with a smile this time. "No I don't have anywhere to be. What did you have in mind?" she asked, nodding towards the Holo Projector.

"It's, uh--promise you won't laugh, but--it's an old, uh, historical documentary of my, um, grandfather. Darth Vader."

"Why would I laugh at that?" She asked, with real curiosity. "I think it's great that you take an interest in history like that, and family. I imagine history really comes alive for a person when they can relate to the people it's talking about."

He grinned, flipping through the individual Holos until he found the one he was looking for.

The documentary was actually quite interesting, from a military standpoint. Aedus noticed how Kylo's eyes lit up, fascinated, every time his grandfather appeared on the screen.

It was endearing, in a sweet, slightly nerdy way.

Yet despite his obvious interest in the Holo, it soon became apparent that he was more tired than he let on.

Conversation began to lag about halfway through the film, and at one point Aedus was aware of a soft sound coming from the other end of the couch.

She looked over and Kylo was sleeping, snoring lightly with his head against the cushions and his arms folded over his chest.

She watched him a bit, quietly. He looked so calm when he was out of it, so peaceful.

With his eyelids closed she really noticed, for the first time, how long his eyelashes were, how full and thick. She was jealous; she wished her lashes were that impressive.

She wasn't sure why, exactly, but something about seeing him so quiet, so vulnerable, made her want to scoot over and put her arms around him.

To hold him while he slept.

To run her fingers gently through his beautiful dark hair.

She quickly shoved the thought away, and decided it was time for her to go.

Moving lightly so as not to wake him, she slipped off the couch and stood there a moment, still looking at him.

She reached over and pulled off a blanket that was laid over the back of a chair and carefully laid it over him.

Then she turned and tip toed quietly to the door, letting herself into the hallway and closing it gently behind herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Aedus sat up straight, arms clasped in the table in front of her, eyes centered directly on the Holoscreen where Supreme Leader would be making an appearance shortly.

It was not usual for him to appear via Holo towards everyone in the Officers circle. Normally if he had to issue a directive or assignment he would summon the intended parties to his chambers personally, and issue them there.

But today seemed to be a special situation of sorts, one where he sought communication with many of his operatives at once, rather than a select few.

Around the conference tables sat her top ranking Lieutenants, followed by their Captains. No Storm Troopers were present; whatever Supreme Leader's edict was did not concern them. 

As per her rank she sat entirely alone at her table, and was aware of several pairs of eyes occasionally shifting toward her in curiosity, wondering if she knew what it was that this unscheduled meeting was called for. 

She had no idea, either. 

The room was mostly silent except for the low whispering among various tables, and a few seconds later the door opened, causing several people to flinch nervously.

Kylo Ren walked in, doing a slow surveying sweep of the room before gliding over to Aedus' table and sitting in the one chair next to hers. She gave him a small smile and a slight nod, which he returned; she could almost swear she could sense a smile on his own face underneath his mask.

At that moment, the Holoscreen clicked on, all all eyes turned toward the front of the room as Supreme Leader Snoke appeared.

"First Order Operatives," came the deep whispery voice from the screen, "You have been gathered here today to be informed that you will be taking part in what is to be the dawn of a new era, in our galactic rule.

I have had the opportunity to study many different empires, in galaxies that are both near and far to our own, and I have drawn interesting parallels between their various strengths and the length at which their Rulers are able to maintain power.

I have come to the conclusion that the most powerful empires in the galaxy are not ones ruled by separate individuals, but by dynasties that span out over many different generations, or more significantly, families.

Therefore, I have decided that my top ranking officials must, by a set date of one years time, must procure a spouse with the intention of producing strong, gifted children and ensuring the continuation of The First Order.

All potential matches must be subjected to evaluation and approved by myself. Anyone who does not comply with this order by one years time shall be considered traitorous, removed of their rank and expelled from The First Order.

All those present today shall receive an in-length document on their datapads by 0800 this evening regarding this edict.

Dismissed."

With that, the Holoscreen went blank, leaving a very loud silence in its wake.

Everyone sat in shocked stillness, unable to extract themselves from their seats and leave the room despite the order to dismiss. Nobody knew quite what to make of this, and nobody seemed to know what to say.

Aedus knew that it was on her, to order the command that would get everyone up and moving and back to their normal routines; but she couldn't find her voice. She couldn't even unclasp the hands that were now locked in a death grip with each other on the table.

Before she could force herself to react, Kylo was standing, clearing his throat, and with a single word, "Dismiss", was able to clear the room in record time.

Aedus was finally able to unlock her hands from the table. "Thank you," she said in a soft voice, as she dazedly rose from her seat and turned towards the door.

He reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Are you okay?"

"What? Why?"

"You look--a little sick. Like you're dizzy, maybe. Are you sure you shouldn't sit down for a little while longer?"

She moved her arm out of his grasp, and said, in a brusque voice, "Lord Ren, I am perfectly fine. And I have quite a bit of work I need to attend to; I don't need you grabbing my arm like I'm a child and telling me I need to sit down!"

She reached the door, and turned the handle--but nothing happened. She pushed harder, and harder again, yielding no visible results.

She even threw her shoulder against it, wincing in pain as it connected solidly with the cold metal--and still, nothing. It was as if the door was being held closed by a very heavy object on the other side.

A small chuckle caused her to whip her head around, looking at the knight half leaning, half sitting on a table and watching her.

"Are--are YOU doing that?" she asked, anger and frustration teeming just below the surface of her words.

"Doing what?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest; and she hear the smirk in his voice, underneath the mask.

Furiously, she demanded "Seriously, can you please just stop this and let me go?"

"I will, IF you sit down and talk to me first. Five minutes. That's all."

She tried the door once more; still no movement.

She blew a stray lock of hair out of her face that had come loose from her bun, and stalked back over to where he was sitting, pulling a chair over from the nearest table and plopping down in front of him.

He uncrossed his arms and reached up to unlock his helmet, pulling it off and setting it on a chair next to him. He looked--amused, and worried, at the same time.

"So are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

She looked down at her hands in her lap. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

He paused, pulling his fingers through his hair out of habit, before answering.

"Well, first of all, you really DO look like you're sick. Your face is all red, and --"

"Did it occur to you, Lord Ren, that my face is red because you're making me angry right now? Did it?" She asked, still looking at her hands.

He ignored this, continuing on with his point.

"And secondly, I thought for sure that we had progressed past this 'Lord Ren' nonsense by now."

Now she did look up at him, her face softening into just a little bit of a smile. "You're right, I'm sorry--Kylo. There. Kylo. Can I go now? Please?"

"So you don't want to tell me what's wrong? You know maybe I can--help. Or fix it. Isn't--" he stopped, actually blushing a little, "isn't that what--friends--are supposed to do?"

She stared at him silently, saying nothing.

The concept of having a "friend" was still a difficult one for her to grasp.

Not that she was necessarily opposed to the idea. It was just that she didn't have much experience in that particular domain; having always chosen to keep herself outwardly polite yet emotionally closed off when it came to personal interactions.

Commanding a crew or an army was one thing; after years of training and experience it now came to her as naturally as breathing air.

But just having an actual conversation with someone, talking about topics that had nothing to do with soldiers or combat or warfare; THAT was difficult for her, almost painfully so.

Spending time with someone, time that did not involve being out in the field or sitting through meetings, was even more awkward.

But with Kylo, it was different.

Despite how others looked at him/feared him, she herself found him very easy to be around, even pleasant.

Away from other people, he was quite different from the person that others associated with the mask.

He was quiet, thoughtful and observant.

Intelligent.

Even funny, in a cheesy, sarcastic kind of way.

Her comfortability around him made it easier, to a degree, to open up and be more of "herself" when they were together.

And she liked being his--friend, if that's what this was. And was glad to know he felt the same way about her.

Being called someone's friend was--nice.

Almost sweet.

She sighed through her nose.

"I guess I'm just--scared. By this whole--marriage-thing. I never thought that marriage would be a path that was possible for me, let alone 'mandatory'.

In theory, the concept of "arranged marriages", or however close to arranged marriages that this was, actually seemed very logical.

If one didn't let the impractical concept of "love" cloud ones judgement, there was a good chance one could pick a person whose qualities would be desirable in a partnership.

From a business standpoint, Marriage was nothing more than a merger of two separate factions whose combined strengths created a more powerful weapon than the two individuals could have managed on their own.

It made sense from the outside; however, it was very difficult for Aedus to accept the necessity for such a collaboration in her own life.

However, if it's one thing that living under the thumb of her father had taught her, it was that you DO NOT question your superiors.

No matter what.

And it was because of this ingrained belief that she was ready to accept this order from Snoke, whether she agreed with it or not.

"Well", he said, looking down at his helmet, "That's understandable. I never thought it'd be something for me to consider, either. But I guess --"

"Wait--this whole thing applies to you, too?" She asked, startled. "I thought it was only /us/,"she said, gesturing to the empty room.

He shrugged, picking at a stray thread in his robe. "No, it goes for me too. Actually maybe even more so than the rest. That's why I took so long to get here today; Snoke had been giving me an hour long lecture on the subject, and how my marriage has to be the most important of them all because, quote, I'm 'like his son'.

She considered that for a moment, internally shuddering at the idea of anyone calling the Supreme Leader, Father.

And all at once she felt--a little better. Just a little. It was somewhat comforting to know that she didn't have to go through her fear and uncertainty alone, that she had someone with whom she could share her thoughts. 

But with that "better" came a strong, unfamiliar surge of emotions directly connected to the idea of Kylo getting married.

Whoever he or she is that Kylo chooses to be with, or that Snoke chooses FOR him, she thought to herself, frowning a little, I don't think they'll be good enough for him. He's so--wonderful, in a LOT of different ways. But I feel like, no one will take the time to SEE that; they'll think he's crazy and unstable the first time they see him use that lightsaber of his on a computer console. They'll see that but they won't see that, like, he really likes chocolate. Or that he's fascinated with any and everything connected to his grandfather. Or that he's messy, but in an endearing way. They'll see how he always wears that mask and think he's being a coward, or thathis real face is hideous. They won't 'get' that he's actually really shy, and very emotional. It's not fair, for him; not really.

She brushed all these thoughts aside, looking at him with a now-sympathetic smile on her face.

He was watching her face, closely, a thoughtful look painted over his features. Force--he didn't hear all that weird stuff she was thinking about him just now, did he?

Honestly by now she should remember that she had to guard her thoughts around him. But as strange as it was that she continually forgot, it was even stranger that more often than not she didn't mind the possibility of him hearing her mind.

It wasn't like being spied on, exactly.

It wasn't the same as when he interrogated prisoners. It was more--natural. The desire of one person to get to know another, with the circumstance that one could read minds in order to do so.

She smiled a little and spoke out-loud:

"Well, then, I guess we're kind of in this thing together, huh, 'friend'?"

"I guess that's right," he said, smiling at her. He was doing a lot more smiling and laughing than was normal for him, these days.

He released his mental hold on the door, and it popped open a crack, reminding him that his face was exposed and causing him to reach for his helmet.

Aedus stood up to go, but before she did she turned towards him, walked directly into the space where he was sitting, and hugged him; her slender arms circling his broad shoulders and squeezing firmly.

He froze at first, surprised, but then leaned into the hug, his long arms coming up to close themselves gently around her narrow waist.

If anyone had been passing in the hallway just then, and had happened to look into the room, they would have been shocked.

To see these two loners, this strict General and the brooding Knight who rarely spoke a word or showed his face, wrapped up in a tender embrace--it was crazy.

Nonsensical.

Almost--magical.

And then Aedus was letting go and walking briskly out of the room, pushing a thousand and one things out of her mind as she tried to focus on the day's agenda.


	5. Chapter 5

"Would you--want--to be mine? My--wife?"

It was several weeks later, and they were sitting in Aedus' quarters, talking about their day and nothing in particular, when he asked her the question.

He said it calmly, yet hesitantly. He was sitting on her couch and fidgeting quite badly; and he had yet to take off his helmet.

Even with the voice modulator the voice sounded--unsure.

Slightly nervous.

And something else, something that was hard to detect from where she sat in her chair across from him, but it was there nonetheless: hopeful.

She chewed her bottom lip, thinking.

If she was being 100% honest with herself, she'd admit that her feelings of friendship for him were not exactly 100% platonic, at least not in a physical sense.

She enjoyed hugging him, and thought that she probably wouldn't mind holding his hand, or even--kissing--him.

He had such beautiful lips and she had found herself wondering, more than once, what it might feel like to have them touched against her own.

But that was purely physical attraction, right?

A chemical reaction caused by too many years of being alone.

For once, she was glad that he could hear thoughts. She looked at him and spoke through her mind, raising clear questions and doubts, hoping he would understand that communicating out-loud was an impossibility for her right now.

He understood.

He nodded and answered all the questions she had to ask; he had already been to see Snoke, and spoken about his desire to marry her, and Snoke was most willing for it to happen.

He felt that the combination of his powers with her military prowess would prove to be an extremely formidable match.

And then he dropped a bombshell in her lap.

"I think--I KNOW that I'm already in love with you," he said softly, taking her hands in his.

As she sat stunned, he spoke quietly to her.

He told her that he understood that there was no "love" on her end, at least not the kind of "love" written about in romance novels or mushy Holofilms; but he felt that that was okay. Perhaps, over time, that could change. 

In the meantime he acknowledged that this would be more a "paper-partnership" than anything else; they would be legally bound together in the face of the public. She would carry his last name. They would live together. Eventually, possibly after some years together, they would be "comfortable" enough with themselves and their relationship to conceive children together, as the Supreme Leader wanted, and--

But the mention of "children" threw her mind into a confused, fearful tailspin--as obvious as the idea was, she had never--envisioned herself doing ~that~ with another person. And--wait, OH, MAKER, it's just now hitting her; they would be sharing--a bed.

Every night.

She wouldn't know first hand but she had heard before that men have natural appetites that needed to be fulfilled, and--

\--and a wildfire burned through her cheeks, knowing that he probably heard all of that in her mind, and wondered what he was thinking of her. Surely someone as handsome and well-travelled as him had had--experience.

Whereas she had absolutely none, and only the most basic concept of what and how things worked in that area.

And did that make her a tease, of some sort?

That she felt she would be ready to kiss him but not ready to engage in that most carnal of pursuits with him?

She put her head into her hands, feeling embarrassed and confused and overwhelmed, and only looked up when she heard the low whoosh of the airlock releasing on his helmet as he finally pulled it off and set it down on the floor.

"Aedus", he began, then paused, seemingly thinking over carefully what he was going to say to her, before moving ahead.

"I would never--have you do anything that you weren't, 100% comfortable with. Supreme Leader will expect us to move in together, of course, but that does not mean we have to share /everything/. For example, a bedroom. Until you feel ready, I am more than willing to sleep in a separate room, in a separate bed, and no one will have to know about the situation other than the two of us."

His words brought her an ocean of comfort, with a tidal wave of guilt; she did not want him to have the belief that her fear towards being--intimate--had anything at all to do with him, with he himself, because that wasn't the case. But she did not know how to say all this.

She didn't have to.

He smiled slightly before continuing, in a small voice "I understand. I'm not offended. And by the way . . . " he said, looking down at their feet before continuing in a slightly rushed voice, "I don't--I mean I've never--had--um--'experiences' like that, either. The teachings of the Jedi have always discouraged forming 'attachments' to others, more or less indirectly advocating celibacy."

"But I'll tell you something," he continued, now looking directly at her. "I would never want my, uh, 'first', to be with someone that I didn't really care about. I care about you, now. And maybe someday, you'll feel the same about me."

"I had to ask you. I HAD to, Aedus Just the idea of you being with someone else--it hurts. It hurts worse than anything."

"You know," she said slowly, looking at him, "When I was a young girl I always dreamt that one day I'd marry a prince. Or a knight in shining armor, who would put me up on his horse and carry me away to a magical kingdom far, far away. Or at least, far away from my father."

He smirked a little. "Well, you'll get part of that, anyway; I AM a knight. Although I probably kill more people than I 'save'. As for the armor, I'm sure I could requisition a Trooper uniform from somewhere, if you wanted. Or kill a Trooper and take his, whatever's easiest."

The thought of him in a Storm Trooper uniform was just too much. She began to laugh; so hard that tears rose to her eyes.

She gently took one of her hands out of his to wipe them away, aware of feeling significantly more lighthearted and at peace than before. 

"I'll tell you what," she said, still smiling, "If you can make me laugh like this at least once a day, then yes, I will marry you."

"Really?"

"Really. Yes. I do, or whatever it is people say."

He smiled wider than she had thought possible for him; and he very hesitantly brought her hands to his lips and kissed each one softly, before releasing them.

He began to stand up, then exclaimed "Oh! I almost forgot!" and quickly reached into the pocket of his black robes, bringing out a small gray-blue box. 

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat, then sped up viciously, as she realized what he was about to do.

Before she could say anything to stop him, he had fallen to one knee and opened the box, revealing a ring with a delicate thin gold band and a scatter of small violet-blue crystals set around a larger snowy-white diamond.

It sat snugly in its bed of velvet, it's many facets gleaming even in the late-afternoon dimness of the room.

"I know you already agreed, but for formalities sake--Aedus Traylin, will you marry me?"

She blushed, sighing lightly before saying, again, "Yes."

He grinned, slipping the ring over her finger. It fit. Perfectly.

He looked up at her cautiously, and said, voice shaking, "Can I--can I kiss you?"

She noticed that he appeared to be--slightly trembling. Was he really that nervous? 

"Of course." 

He leaned slowly towards her, timidly cupping her face in his large hands,closed his eyes, and pressed his lips very softly to hers. It wasn't very good, not exactly, but it was her first kiss ever. His too.

His lips were slightly rough, yet very full, and warm, and gentle.

They pulled apart, and for a moment the two of them just sat there, looking one another, each unsure of what to say. 

Then Kylo cleared his throat and said "Shall we go and tell Snoke?

"Yes."

He rose, pulling her to her feet, and went to retrieve his helmet before they walked out the door together and down the hall, to announce the news to the Supreme Leader.


	6. Chapter 6

The day came, and she wasn't ready. At all.

The hairstylist that had come in from Maifishu had been bothering her head all morning, combing and teasing and plaiting and curling, until she felt ready to scream.

She took the time to look around her little, at the now almost-bare room, feeling a bit wistful.

She has had these quarters since she had first arrived on the Finalizer, and she can't help but feel a somewhat sentimental attachment towards them, and an inexplicable melancholy that, after today, she would only be going back to retrieve her last few boxes to bring to the place she now shared with Kylo.

The dress had arrived and been delivered in a box to her room earlier in the day, and now it was laid out on her bed, waiting for her to stop shaking long enough to slip into it.

The shoes were already resting on her dainty feet, silky blue-white slippers that tied off at the ankles with elegant white satin bows.

There was no heel; she had insisted on no heel because she didn't feel like she could walk in them, and the last thing she needed was to trip down the aisle and make more of a spectacle of herself than necessary. 

Finally, when it was almost time for her to go, she put on the dress, stepping into it carefully and cautiously fastening the buttons up her back.

She hadn't intended to look in the mirror at all today, because of nerves, but found that she couldn't help herself, now.

The person looking back at her was not familiar, not in the least. She was--beautiful. 

Her hair was set in sections of loose-flowing curls all around her head, with a small wreath of flowers woven into the shining silver locks.

Her face was tinged a rosy pink with nerves, or adrenaline, and her darkened red lips stood out in a full-looking, pleasing curve.

The dress cascaded gracefully down her slender body, simple yet elegant on her frame.

It was a lovely sky-blue color with vivid turquoise-colored bow accents on her bustle and hips. It fell in a graceful arc just below her bare shoulders and cut a small swath down her chest, revealing tasteful cleavage decorated with tiny silver-blue jewels fastened to the skin.

She looked herself over once more before taking a deep breath, and leaving her room to board the shuttle that was taking her to the wedding venue.

\----

She paused in the little doorway just outside the wedding aisle, trying to slow her breathing before walking out of the curtain and down the flower-lined path.

The song had begun to play, and she was conscious of the sound of a great many bodies shifting and standing, facing the door she was set to emerge from.

Steeling her nerves and clutching her bouquet in front of her, she gracefully stepped out, and proceeded with her slow, measured pace down the aisle.

She glanced around at the eyes watching her, noting the many different colored garments that represented countless ranks and royalties, before turning her eyes back dead center and focusing on breathing.

The minister was standing towards the end of the aisle, on a raised step, smiling gently and holding a book in his hands.

Supreme Leader Snoke was sitting large and imposing on his throne behind the podium, observing her walk with a kind of fatherly attention.

Various First Order officers were standing in formation, in full dress uniform, in groupings on either side of the aisle.

And, most importantly, Kylo was there.

Looking more handsome than she had ever seen a man look in her life. 

He had forgone his usual robes in favor of a charcoal black suit, the shirt underneath a shade of blue that exactly matched the color of her dress. The sleeves accentuated his muscular arms, and the colors created a stunning visual portrait of darkness caressing pale skin.

His face was blessedly absent of his mask, his pouty lips breaking into a gorgeous smile as soon as he saw her step out of the curtain, and held there all through her walk towards him.

His dark eyes were bright, overflowing with emotion and happiness that she could feel even from many steps away.

His normally disheveled hair was carefully combed and tied back with a piece of rawhide, accentuating the strong lines of his neck and jaw.

She felt a sudden twist in her stomach, when she finally reached him, taking his hand and stepping before the minister as the audience sat back down in their seats. He looked /so/ handsome. How unfair it was for him that he was pairing with her, even if it was his own choice. So plain, so simple, so dismally ordinary.

And he was squeezing her hand, looking down on her sideways, with a slight shake of his head. He heard what she was thinking, and disagreed.

The ceremony went rather quickly after that, with both flawlessly repeating their vows after the minister and slipping their new plain gold wedding bands over each other's fingers. 

When she heard the "you may now kiss the bride" part, she became irrationally nervous. She and Kylo had only kissed a handful of times, and never in the presence of other people.

It was embarrassing, and awkward, and --

\--and then he was lifting her chin-up with his fingers, and sinking softly into a deep, tender kiss. All her doubts fell away, all her insecurities, as she kissed him back, and reached up to clasp her hands behind his neck. She felt light, and breathless, and in the space of a few moments had completely forgotten that there were even other people in the room.

Then someone in the room coughed and it brought her back to the real world, letting go as Kylo set her gently back on her feet; she hadn't even realized that he had lifted her off the ground.

And everyone was clapping, and Kylo was grasping her hand as they walked over to SL and bowed their heads, asking for his blessing, which he gave them, hands held out, announcing that their marriage was the dawn of a new era of power for the First Order.

They walked up the aisle together toward the reception, a large banquet hall filled with flowers, crystals, music, lighting and copious amounts of food and drinks.

They sat at their table as person after person or group after group came up to congratulate them, or rather ~her~, as Kylo was characteristically closed-off, polite yet distant; not exactly the warmest person to speak with.

Even at an event such as this, most people could not get over their fear of him, and treated him with a cool, cautious respect, which he reciprocated.

With her, though, he was gentle and loving, and almost child-like with pleasure as he continually reached over to hold her hand, or kiss her cheek.

His enjoyment grew as they wheeled out the cake, a five tiered monstrosity that was chocolate on the three large layers and vanilla on the two smaller ones. 

Personally, she didn't have much of an appetite; she had been a bundle of nerves all day and they had yet to fully dissipate.

She watched as he scarfed down one, and then two, and then three pieces of the chocolate cake, smiling at how happy that seemed to make him. There were also other delicacies available, and he had a big plate of mixed appetizers and entrees, eating and cajoling her into having at least a few bites of everything on the plate.

She had never noticed before how much he could eat; it was shocking how his appetite was in such stark contrast to his slender muscular body. 

She had noticed other people in the room getting up to dance, swaying to the gentle melodies being played by the orchestra.

Kylo saw her watching, and watched her watching for a minute, before standing up and walking in front of her, holding out his hand.

"Do you-want to dance?"

She looked away nervously. "I never really--I mean, I know a few steps, but I've never--" she trailed off, hoping he got what she meant.

He smiled, still holding out his hand. "Same here. But still, let's not-dance -dance together. Please? Just one song?"

She finally relented and took his hand, allowing him to pull her to the corner of the dance floor. She grasped his one hand with hers, and placed her other on his shoulder. He had his arm around her waist, holding her closely, as they swayed in a slow cautious circle to the music. 

This wasn't so bad. It was slightly awkward, sure, but somehow knowing that Kylo didn't have much practice in this area made her feel better. More comfortable. As if it didn't matter that their steps were slightly off-beat, or that they were drawing small amused titterings from the people dancing nearer them. 

They danced through one song, and then another, before he leaned down and whispered in her ear "Do you think anyone would notice if we just snuck out and went back to our quarters?"

She shook her head, grinning as she noticed the emphasis he put on the word "our". And so, after a few quick glances around to see that no one was watching them, they casually sauntered towards the door and away from their own party. 

When they reached the door of their place, he looked around for a moment before swooping over and scooping her up into his arms, stating mock-seriously over her protests that "tradition must be adhered to."

He used the Force to open the door, walking through it and setting her gently back on her feet, flipping on the lights.

She looked around her with a gasp.

In their absence, he had had service crew come in and line nearly every visible surface with roses. Red roses, pink, yellow, hybrid colors of blue and purple and green, strewn all along the tables and couch and chairs and windowsills. 

She stood there for a moment in shock, before stuttering out "Is-is all t-this for ME?"

He nodded, smiling widely. "A little welcome-home present, that's all."

He headed towards his room, saying he needed to change out of that suit before it killed him.

She nodded, watching him go, and decided to do that same with her dress, peeling out of it and hanging it neatly in her closet before changing into a shin-length strapless satin nightgown, relishing how comfortable it felt compared to the dress.

She pulled all of the knots out of her hair, brushing it back a bit, leaving a shower of curlier-than-normal tangles down her back.

She walked back out and found him wearing black pajama bottoms, pulling a dark tank top over his broad chest. 

His eyes widened for a moment in appreciation, taking in the nightgown and the hair, before he found his voice and said "You look beautiful."

She blushed, and smiled, and suddenly her heart began to pick up into a frenzied beat. Was this--it? The--thing--that was supposed to happen on your wedding night? Was it starting? She didn't feel like she was ready, not at all.

He crossed the room over to where she stood, slowly, as if afraid of scaring her, and placed his hands over her arms.

"No, no no, not yet. Not now. I promise, not until you're-- ~we're~ -- both ready."

She relaxed then, some of the tension draining out of her muscles, as she looked up at him with a shy smile. 

"Then--what do you want to do?"

"We could--watch a Holofilm disc. There's a great new one that just came out; it actually wasn't supposed to be released into shops until this weekend, but I--convinced--the owner to let me have it sooner."

She frowned a little at that. "Do you mean "convinced" like, you talked him into it, or "convinced" like--"

He shrugged, smirking. "Either way I have the disc, so what does it matter?"

She laughed, reluctantly, at his logic. "Yes, I guess that's the truth. Sure, let's watch."

He picked her up, again, laughing at her squeaky protests as he carried her over to and plopped her down on the couch, amidst a gaggle of roses. 

As they began to watch the movie, her cuddled into a blanket and leaning into him, he said "You know, I should have stolen some of that chocolate cake before we left. Stuck it in my pocket or something."

"If you're hungry, go look in the conservator," she said mildly, trying to keep the smile out of her voice as he got up and walked into the kitchen.

She heard the low gasp as he opened the door and saw, sitting on the shelf, the near-perfect replica of the chocolate part of their wedding cake that she had had made and put into their room, as a surprise.

"Is this--for ME?" he called out in excitement.

She smirked and called back "A little welcome-home present, that's all."


	7. Chapter 7

She sat on the shelf below her window, knees drawn up, looking out. 

A thick blanket of new snow covered the grounds outside the window, left over from the small storm that had been in the area earlier that day.

The maintenance crew were already outside, clearing off the drill grounds for tomorrow's daily exercises.

She watched them in the growing twilight, laughing and talking and playfully scooping up large drifts of snow and flinging them at each other with their shovels.

She envied that, their freedom to be silly and wild and undisciplined in public.

They had no need to wear a crisp uniform, or execute sharp turns when walking, or have the knowledge of a thousand different drills, exercises, stances, pieces of intel, names and places constantly at their fingertips every waking moment.

She and Kylo had already eaten dinner, and he had retreated to his room with another of those murder-mystery books he liked so much.

They had been married now for several weeks, and to her pleasant surprise she found that being married to him was not all that different from being friends with him. With the exception of living together, and the occasional spouts of affection coming from one or both of them, it was really more like dating than being married.

They spent as much time as they could together when not working, and she enjoyed that immensely.

Yet as was often the case, once they had parted from one another for the evening into their separate bedrooms, she felt a vague feeling of discontent, of boredom. Of restlessness.

She had intended to go to bed early, and she had tried laying in her bed for awhile; but now she was back up, feeling restless, and watching the crew outside.

Suddenly an impulse overtook her, and before she knew it she was walking across the carpet and knocking on the door that separated her room from Kylo's.

"Come in" he called from inside. She stepped into his room, hand hesitating on the doorknob before deciding to go on ahead with her idea.

She stepped over quickly to his bed and sat down gingerly on the edge, facing him. He laid his book down on the nightstand next to him and looked at her curiously. 

"Let's go outside."

"Wh-what?"

"Let's. Go. Outside. I want to--take a walk. Make snow angels. Something; anything. I just need to get out in the air and breathe, and it just looks so beautiful out, and --"

Abruptly, she stopped talking. She knew how stupid she sounded, how childish, and she was afraid to look at his face to see his reaction.

His hand on her shoulder caused her to look up. "It's not stupid. Let's go." He was smiling.

She ran back to her room to pull on some more layers of clothing, and something to cover her head. By the time she turned around he was leaning against the doorframe, watching her, wrapped in his black robes and holding something out in his hands for her.

"This is, uh, it's mine, it's big and it's warm and uh. I thought you'd want to wear it. Just in case."

She grinned and took it from his arms. It was one of his long hooded black robes, made of a thick wool material. She slipped it on, pulling the hood over her hair and tying it at the neck. It was huge on her, the sleeves covering her tiny hands completely and the back trailing out several feet behind her on the floor, but she liked it. It was incredibly warm, and comfortable to the touch. She might have to borrow one of these to sleep in some time, she thought.

Laughing out loud at how she looked, he found her hand within the sleeves and walked with her outside. 

She didn't notice until they were quite a ways away from their quarters that he had left his helmet behind inside. She was glad; she liked being able to talk to his face rather than the soulless black piece of metal that was so often covering it up.

They walked to an area away from the lights of the drill station, just beyond the courtyard and into trees of the little forest that stood at the edge of the base.

She breathed in deep, letting the cold clean air fill her lungs, her cheeks turning pink, her gloved hand gripping Kylo's tightly as she tried not to slip on the slushy terrain, letting him guide her. 

They came to a little clearing set in a half circle of trees, the snow a subtly shimmering ivory that illuminated the darkness.

"It's so lovely out here", she said in a hushed whisper, hardly aware that she had spoken out-loud at all.

Kylo said nothing but gripped her hand even tighter for a minute before gently letting go and crunching off in the direction of an interesting looking formation of rocks sticking out of the ground. 

She surveyed the ground in front of her, trying to find the perfect spot to lay down and make a snow angel, when --

Suddenly, from behind her, a hard round object flew into the small of her back and nearly knocked her over.

She yelped a little in surprise, and turned to see Kylo standing several yards away, a huge child-like grin on his face and a snowball clenched in his fist.

"Did you just--" she began, and suddenly the snowball had left his hand and was hurtling directly at her chest.

She managed to duck just in time, the snowball barely missing her as it smacked into the tree behind her back.

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist!", he said with a sheepish look on his face.

"That didn't--hurt you, did it?"

She chuckled, turning to brush the snowy residue off her back. "No, that didn't hurt, you just scared me, is all. Also that doesn't count, you're cheating."

"Cheating? How am I cheating!?"

"Well, you're bigger than me. And taller. And you have the Force!"

"Really not a good argument, though. I mean, throwing snowballs is a lot like using a weapon against someone. That sounds a lot like a military strategy. Like something that someone who is a GENERAL would know."

With that he turned around a bit, and bent over slightly to pull off his left boot and shake it out, muttering that it felt like he had gotten a stone in it or something. 

Unwise to lower your defenses, Lord Ren, she thought.

When he turned his back she quickly leaned down and scooped up a large handful of snow into both fists. She approached him slowly while he was distracted, got right up next to him, and swiftly dumped the snow that she had been hiding down his collar.

His reaction was hilarious. He lost his balance and dropped the boot he had been shaking out, yelling and flailing and clawing at his back.

She laughed so hard that she actually tipped backwards and fell on her behind in the snow, breathless, with tears leaking down her cheeks, holding her sides and unable to stop.

He finally got the snow out, and turned around to face her still sitting on the ground. He was red-faced but had a wicked grin on his lips. He said in a mock-menacing voice,

"Oh, sweetheart, you're gonna wish you hadn't done that."

Before she could stop laughing or try to right herself, he leapt at her with a cat-like agility, knocking her on to her back and sending a wave of silvery powder up around them.

They wrestled a bit before he pinned both her wrists to the ground with one strong hand, and the other began, absurdly, to tickle her, eliciting very loud, helpless shrieks and begging for him to stop.

Eventually he did, and she lay there laughing and panting beneath him. His hand still held both of her wrists pinned to the cold ground.

He was--looking at her, with a shy, sweet expression on his face, and for some reason her heart sped up.

He leaned down and kissed her lips, lightly at first, then deeper, causing her to sigh in pleasure into his mouth.

He moved from her lips to kiss and nibble at the side of her neck, his one hand still holding her wrists, the other moving to wrap itself around her waist, pulling her even closer into him.

Despite laying in the snow she felt a strong surge of heat spread throughout her body, moving slowly, like a poison.

Right before the heat reached her toes, he suddenly stopped kissing her. And sat up, releasing her hands, looking unexplainably angry.

She had little time to wonder about his sudden reaction when she became aware of the sound of boots, several pairs of boots, crunching heavily and swiftly in the snow towards them.

She sat up quickly in the snow, and Ren pulled her to her feet, still looking angry, as several base guards cautiously approached them, surveying the immediate area, seemingly at a loss as to what to say.

No one spoke for the space of a few seconds, most likely in response to the fierce intense scowl and angry energy emanating out from Ren, the intimidating look on his face not at all hindered by the absence of his mask.

Finally, one of the guards spoke in a timid voice, addressing the both of them but only looking at Aedus.

"Lord Ren, General, forgive the intrusion; we heard screaming had thought perhaps you were under attack, and . . . " he trailed off under the growing intensity of Ren's glare.

Aedus could almost swear she saw Ren's fingers twitch towards his lightsaber.

Before Ren could respond, she laid her hand gently on his arm, stopping him.

"We are fine, Captain, thank you for your concern. You are to be commended for your quick response." she said calmly, still keeping her hand on her husband's arm.

"You may leave us now."

All six of them bowed their heads, then turned to leave, occasionally sneaking a glance backwards at the Knight and the General.

She turned to her husband, looking up into his face, which she hesitantly took between both of her small hands.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a whisper, aware that he was shaking slightly but unsure of whether it was due to the cold, or embarrassment, or if his anger was reaching that dangerous point of no return.

Speaking in a low voice she could barely hear, he growled out "I heard their thoughts. They heard you screaming, and they thought I was --forcing myself, on you. Or attempting to kill you."

"She chuckled despite the tension of the moment. "That's it?"

He turned heat-intense eyes on her. "What do you mean, is that it? For them to still think that I am so--unrestrained, or so stupid that I would actually kill my own ~wife~ in the middle of a crowded base with a thousand potential witnesses?"

She took her hands away from his face and drew back a little, frowning.

"You mean you've--thought about killing me, like, in a ~secluded~ place?" she asked timidly, raising an eyebrow.

He saw the fear jump into her face, briefly, but still there, and felt bad. The worst of his anger drained out of him, and he went to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"No, of course not. I'm just saying, it's insulting that they think I'd do anything to hurt you. Because--no matter what, I never would."

"Good. Because I wouldn't hurt you either." she smiled, returning his hug before reaching for his hand. "Come on, let's go back home."

They walked along in silence for a few minutes, before she said "So, do you think, if they had heard YOU screaming bloody murder in the woods, they'd have come running to rescue you?"

He looked down at her, smirking. "You know when you dumped that snow down my back? They heard me yelling then, but thought I was just out here alone, and throwing a "tantrum" with my lightsaber."

She started laughing again, despite trying not to. "Yeah, that sounds about right for you."

And then they were both laughing, walking back to their quarters over the hard, glimmering snow, footsteps crunching through the nighttime silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Aedus lay curled up near the edge of her enormous bed, shades drawn, pillow resting on top of her face.

She had spent the last 6 hours trying to get through the day as quickly as possible, while the headache that had hit her earlier this morning got progressively worse.

Shouting commands at her Troops didn't help, nor did the repetitive jostling of her head and neck as she continually demonstrated a new combat style to the ranks.

By the time her shift was over she all but flew back to her room, intent on quiet, intent on darkness.

Now she groaned, reaching under the pillow to massage her fingers along her temple, idly wondering whether it was too soon to take another dose from the big bottle of pills that were, quite honestly, doing nothing at all to help her.

She lay there for an indefinite amount of time, eyes squeezed shut, trying her hardest to drift off to sleep, when she heard the sound of Kylo's boots clomping through the living room, and his voice calling out her name.

She groaned again, softly, and turned over on her other side facing the wall, hoping that he would assume she was taking a nap and leave her be.

She wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody just now.

He opened her bedroom door quietly, cautiously, observing the tiny, still form of his wife curled into a ball at the edge of her bed, still in full uniform, with a pillow laying over her face.

At first he thought she was just asleep, and almost turned to go, when the feeling of the room hit him, shrouding over his senses like a blanket: pain.

His force-sensitivity left him particularly susceptible not just to the thoughts, but the feelings and emotions of those around him, and the case was no different with his wife.

He frowned, concerned now. He walked over to where she was turned, lifting the pillow gently and looking at her eyes-squeezed shut face. 

"Aedus what's wrong?" he asked, touching a hand to her cheek. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Are you sick?"

The worry in his voice caused her to abandon her former plan to feign sleep, and she cautiously opened one eye, flinching from the wide sliver of light reflected onto the wall through the open door.

"I'm fine," she said, keeping her voice to a whisper so as not to set off the booming in her skull. "I just--have a headache. I took some pills, it should go away soon," she said in what she hoped was a reassuring voice, as she plucked the pillow back from his hands and plopped it once more over her face.

And felt it drawn back again. This time she opened both eyes, narrowing them into a glare. Before she could speak, Ren was talking to her.

"Why in the world are you so stubborn, woman? I KNOW you're in pain right now, and that it's not minor, either, like you're trying to make it out to be. I can FEEL it pressing against all the sides of this room. Keeping stuff to yourself doesn't really help anything, Aedus."

She scowled as she pondered his words. And then suddenly, horribly, her heard her fathers voice coming from her lips as she said "Complaining is a common trait of the weak and the useless. Pain builds character."

She grimaced at the sound of her own voice, the way it seemed to set off a series of booming echoes inside her head, at the way her words sounded too loud in her own ears, despite the fact she was all but whispering them. Nevertheless she went on:

"Besides what GOOD does it do to tell anybody, or tell you, that I'm in pain? I took the pills, they should work soon. Until they do, there's nothing anyone can do to fix it, is there?"

She expected him to berate her some more, or maybe just get up and leave the room, when a soft snickering sound caught her attention. Laughing. He was laughing at her.

"SO stubborn," he said, still chuckling, and pulled over the little chair from her desk, sitting down. 

He took off both of his gloves and shook his hands out. Then he smiled and placed the tips of his fingers on either side of her forehead, gently.

Before she had time to wonder just what in the hell he was doing, an unexpected intense heat alarmed her, seeming to flow out of his fingers and fill her head.

A low humming noise began to rise up in her brain, the sound rising in correlation to the growing intensity of the heat, and right when she felt like she was going to have to throw his hands off or be seriously burned, it stopped.

He took his hands away, and said "There!" with an air of satisfaction.

She felt--weird. She sat up experimentally, and it took her a few seconds to realize that the pain was gone, the headache.

Not just eased, or blocked, but completely gone.

"How did you--h-how did you DO that?" she asked incredulously.

He shrugged, getting up and replacing the chair back at her desk. "It's a Force thing; healing abilities. Part of my new training. I haven't really had a chance to practice it on others, until now; I'm just glad that it actually worked."

Worked?

It did more than work.

It wasn't ~just~ that her headache was gone; it was like he had injected some serum into her entire body, making her feel loose-limbed and energetic and peaceful and--happy.

Without pausing to think about what she was doing, she jumped out of bed and leapt up onto his turned back, nearly toppling him over with shock.

She wrapped her legs firmly around his waist, and her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug.

Stretching forward, she planted a kiss on his cheek, murmuring a soft "Thank you" into his ear.

He smiled and opened the door, carrying her into the living room in a piggy back ride and dumping her playfully on the couch.

"You know, if my-uh, my Uncle Luke were here right now, you'd probably have given him a terrible flashback, jumping on my back like that."

"Why's that?"

"According to him, that's how he was trained in the Force from Jedi Master Yoda. He was made to carry him on his back all while doing intensive physical training like push-ups, sit-ups, running, doing backflips, even levitating rocks."

She stifled a laugh at this image of the little green Jedi, whom she had read about in so many historical books during her Academy days, clinging to the back of Ren's uncle.

"Did your--uncle--have YOU train like that, too?"

He groaned, rolling his eyes. "Of course he did--the old bastard. HE had had it easy, all things considered. All he had to carry around was a tiny Parsekian about 2 feet tall weighing less than 60 pounds. That's like carrying a youngling around! It's much harder trying to swing on a vine and then do ten backflips in a row with a fully grown 40 year old 180 pound man with a scratchy beard and a gut on your back!"

She laughed out again at the new imagery filling her head; her husband carrying around his Uncle, back when he was a young Padawan. 

He sat down next to her on the couch, shrugging off his boots and using the force to levitate them to stand by the door.

Since living with Aedus, Kylo had made an impressive effort to maintain the neatness and order that she had always been so set upon.

He slowly but surely learned to pick up after himself, put things back where they belonged, and a variety of other tasks that didn't come naturally to the Knight.

She rarely had to ask him to do anything house-wise, and for that she was extremely appreciative.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. Are you?"

"Nah. I've been snacking on this all day", he said, pulling a large half-eaten bag of mixed candies out of his pocket and dropping it on her lap before settling back further into the couch with the Holofilm controller in his hand.

"You know, considering all the sweets and junk you eat, it's amazing that you have any teeth in your mouth at all. Don't you get stomach aches from so much candy?"

"I haven't yet. And I don't eat THAT much," he said, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "Besides, how else am I going to keep my energy up through the day?"

"You could drink Coffee, like normal people."

"Ugh," he said, shuddering. "If it's one thing that's worse than soup, it's Coffee."

Aedus smiled at him fondly, before shaking her head and sighing. "Sometimes I really worry about you, Lord Ren."

"Thank you," he said with a grin, as he flipped through the available Holofilms with the controller.

"Hey, here's that scary Holo I was telling you about last week, the one I didn't get to see the end of because I fell asleep. You wanna watch it with me?"

"Sure," she said, before realizing that she was still in her uniform. She shrugged out of it, leaving herself in the white undershirt and small shorts that she always wore underneath. Feeling better once it was off, she tossed the items over the back of the couch, for once not caring about neatness.

She yawned and scooted closer to her husband, tucking her legs up under herself, resting her head on his shoulder and eating the occasional piece of candy.

She didn't remember falling asleep, but she must have. She woke up some time later in her bed, covers pulled snugly up to her neck, with her uniform folded up neatly and hung over the back of her chair.


	9. Chapter 9

Aedus sat on the tiny bunk in her cell, pulling her arms back into her sleeves and tucking her chin into her collar, trying to gain a little warmth in the terribly cold room.

She and team of Officers were coming back from Trelauw, having gone to meet with a small local army that had expressed a formal desire in joining the First Order. 

On their way back, their small shuttle was overtaken by a pair of unfamiliar assault ships, quickly overpowering them and taking all members of the crew as hostages.

The apparent leader of this attack, a large 4-armed Gonoshen, had questioned her and her Officers, inquiring as to their mission to Trelauw and their rumored intentions to acquire the army there.

The Gonoshen represented a planet that had wished to overtake the small but extremely talented Trelauw army for their own usage, and The First Order was standing in the way of this objective.

Unable to achieve a word out of Aedus or any of their commanding Officers as to the whereabouts of the First Order base, they had been separated and led into holding cells where they awaited word of their fates.

Most likely, if a satisfactory deal could not be established between the Gonoshen command and The First Order, all prisoners would either be reconditioned to be a part of THIS army--or killed.

From a strategic standpoint it did not make sense to dispose of intelligent, capable high-ranking officials in this manner, because they possessed talents that could be shaped to fit your own needs.

However, Aedus had made it very clear that she would rather choose death over being slaved into someone else's command. She had been taught that a traitor was far worse than one who remained true to his or her cause, even until the point of death.

And they had been out of commission, so to speak, for over 2 weeks. Supreme Leader Snoke had made it clear, that on any missions where capture was possible, the absolute hold-out limit for recovering the detainees was 5 days.

No more.

Anything after that would result in an unnecessary compromise to the safety and security of the base.

So she doubted the Gonoshens would even be able to get in contact with the First Order, to let them know that they were holding some of their members as prisoners.

She sat in her cell now, hunched into her clothes, waiting. She tried to ignore how hungry she was (she had last been given rations 3 days ago), and how cold.

Yet despite all this, she was aware of a feeling of general apathy towards the situation--or maybe it was acceptance. No matter what her fate was to be, she did not appreciate long waits, or suspense.

A loud noise caused her to jump a little.

It sounded like--screaming.

Very loud screaming, by more than one person.

She had time to think that maybe her captors were beginning the process of torturing/murdering her officers; and she steeled her mind, tried to quiet the sick adrenaline flood that was coursing through her body.

Hoping that, if/when her turn came, she could bear the pain in silence. Not let them see her scared, or hurt.

And heard the screams again. Louder this time, more urgent than before.

And then she heard a new sound, one she almost thought she recognized but was afraid to name, afraid to be hopeful.

It sounded like--humming.

A fierce thrumming noise that paused every few seconds, as if connecting with something else.

Each pause brought about more screaming.

It sounded like--a light saber.

Her heart leapt as she heard snatches of a familiar mask-distorted voice, snarling "WHERE IS SHE" between screams and slashes. 

A few moments later a large Gonoshen guard was hurled through the air like a rag doll and slammed with brutal force against the steel bars of her cell, crying and pleading in an unrecognizable language as he fumbled a key into a lock and pulled them open.

The moment the lock was off, he rose into the air, clutching at his throat and gasping, his face turning an impressive purple with blood spurting in sporadic streams from his ears and eyes.

Aedus watched from the corner, gruesomely fascinated, as his cries gradually drifted off and the invisible hand that had been holding him up let go, causing his dead body to fall to the ground with a meaty thud.

Kylo stepped over him and into the cell, moving faster than fast, making a beeline for Aedus. His upper body was still shaking and heaving with rage, and his hands trembled as he yanked off his helmet to look at her.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did they hurt you? Are you okay?" He repeated everything half a dozen times, using his hands to turn her around and around in a dizzying circle as he checked her body for any possible injuries, not giving her a chance to answer between frenzied questions.

When he calmed down enough to listen to her assurances that she wasn't hurt, he sank to his knees on the floor in front of her, pulling her body in close and leaning his head on her waist.

"I thought--captured--dead--you--two weeks--Snoke--gone" he stuttered out incoherently, his shaking arms tightening around her hard enough to hurt.

She winced a little at the pain, finding that she actually felt more concerned with his behavior right now than she had been with being captured in the first place.

Behind them, a Stormtrooper appeared in the doorway, clearing his throat a little and seeming embarrassed at the scene before him.

Kylo sensed him standing behind, but didn't even bother trying to straighten up, or cover his face, or remove his arms from their death-grip around his wife's waist. 

Addressing himself to Aedus, the Stormtrooper said "General, all First Order Officers have been liberated, are present and accounted for, Ma'am."

"Good work, Soldier" she said, finding it somewhat difficult to take the deep breaths necessary in order speak loudly and clearly. "Have everyone convene back at the Ship and send all First Order Officers to med bay for examination. Lord Ren and I shall join you shortly."

"Yes, Ma'am", he said, bowing and snapping his heels before turning to carry out her orders.

When they were alone, she held his head tightly to her waist with one hand and rubbed slow circles between his shoulder blades with the other, trying to calm him down.

It seemed to work; after a few long minutes the violent shaking of his chest and shoulders stopped, his grip loosened, and his breathing became calmer, more steady.

In the silence that followed, she asked, in a small voice, "So--did you--kill them all?"

He straightened up a little, looking at her before answering in a somewhat sheepish tone "Well, not ALL. The Troopers shot most of them with their blasters. I just read their minds to see who had dealt with YOU personally, and I---handled THEM, /personally/.

She shuddered a bit to think of the fate her captors must have met. Judging by what she saw happen to the Guard, it probably wasn't easy on them.

Shaking her head a little bit to clear it, she pulled his arms from around her middle and took his hands, tugging him (or trying to) to his feet. She bent over and picked up his helmet from where he had dropped it at his feet, holding it out to him and saying "Come on, let's go home."

He didn't take it right away, instead tilting his head and frowning as he realized how cold she seemed to be. He unhooked his outer cloak and draped it around her shoulders, smiling as he did so.

While he was leaning down to tie her hood, she stepped forward and kissed him swiftly, once, on the lips. And then again. And again, until she forgot where she was, or that everyone was waiting for them back on the ship, or anything at all. 

She even, unfortunately, forgot that she was still holding his helmet.

As her hands attempted to reach out to hold him, she inadvertently dropped it, and it landed square on the big toe of her left foot. Her feet were bare save for the thin socks she wore, as they had taken her boots away from her days before.

She grabbed at her foot, hopping in a small circle and muttering out curses and expletives, as her husband tried (and failed) his hardest not to laugh at her.

She leaned against the wall and lifted her foot up, drawing off the sock to reveal an ugly red swelling of her toe.

"Kriff, I better not end up in a cast over this!" she moaned, rubbing the tender area.

"Well, if you do, just tell people you got it from injuries incurred while in a POW holding cell. It sounds quite impressive, and, technically speaking, it would be true."

She laughed out loud at this, lowering her foot and limping to her husband, looking up at him hopefully.

He chuckled, picking up his helmet and clicking it into place before bending to lift her off the ground and carry her back to the ship. As he stepped and picked his way over and around the dead bodies that had piled up throughout the halls, Aedus had time to wonder what everyone would think, of seeing Lord Ren carry her this way off the ship.

And found that she didn't care in the least.


	10. Chapter 10

She sat up, sweating and panting.

Another bad dream: this one worse than the others.

It started off with her as a child again, standing outside of her mothers sick room, waiting for the doctor to leave so she could run in and hold her mama's hand. And suddenly her father was there, tall and imposing in his uniform, telling her to "stop that sniveling" and get ready to go to the funeral.

Funeral?

What funeral?

Mama's fine, the doctor hasn't even come out of the room yet!

And the dream confusingly switched to her being a teenager, and she was inexplicably standing on a cliff with her father standing near the edge, screaming at her about her inability to "do real push-ups" with her "weak girly arms".

In the dream, she had suddenly and violently thrown herself at him, and pushed him off the cliff behind her, watching as his body plummeted, screaming and cursing, towards the sharp rocks below.

The rocks all had her mother's face, the one she had worn in her casket some 14 years before.

She woke up with a gasp right before her father hit the bottom.

She kicked herself out of the tangle of covers her legs were wrapped in, sliding over to sit on the edge of the bed.

Despite the light sweat she had broken out in, she felt rather cold, and curled up into a ball with her knees touching her chin, staring into the darkness and trying to slow her breathing.

"Are you alright?"

The voice came from behind her. Without her noticing, Kylo had pushed open the door connecting their bedrooms and had walked into the room up to the side of her bed.

She turned herself around to look at him.

He stood there, arms folded across his bare chest, black pajama bottoms trailing on the carpeted floor, looking--concerned.

Almost scared.

Before she could answer, he went on: "I--could hear your dream. And then I could hear when you woke up. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She frowned, despite herself, in annoyance. She had had no idea he could also hear the thoughts in dreams, as well.

It was annoying.

More than annoying; it was somewhat infuriating, to know that now none of her thoughts, not even her dreams, could be kept private.

All at once, she sighed and calmed herself. It wasn't his fault that he had the gifts he had; for him, it was something natural, something that couldn't be changed, like breathing, or blinking. 

And all things considered he WAS actually considerate of her thoughts and feelings, trying his hardest to keep from intruding into her mind and refraining from voicing his concerns unless he was worried about her. 

Which he appeared to be now.

Still, her lingering fear and anxiety over the dream caused her voice to come out sounded rather more clipped than she intended.

"I'm fine." she said, with a small sigh. "I just, had a bad dream, but I'm okay now, I'm fine. Absolutely fine."

He must have heard all the other thoughts in her mind, and the look in his eyes was subtly hurt, as he said in a rather soft voice "Okay. Just making sure." 

As he turned to go, something in her heart clenched, and she called out "Wait!"

He turned back around, eyeing her curiously.

"Um, I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just--the dream upset me a little, that's all. I didn't--mean--to sound so--harsh."

He shrugged his shoulders slightly and said, with a rueful smile, "No no it's okay, I understand."

"Can you. . . " she said slowly, hesitantly, without looking up at him, "Can you--stay in here with me? Tonight? Please? You don't have to stay all night if you don't want to, but until I fall asleep? Please?"

She hated herself for asking that, and for sounding so--weak. So fragile. So--human. 

Still, for all intents and purposes, this man WAS her husband, and if you couldn't call upon your husband for comfort, then who could you rely on?

The tension seemed to go out of his shoulders and his face as he smiled, turning back for the door.

"Of course. Just let me go get some blankets from my room first --"

"Blankets? For what?"

"To make the couch a little more comfortable, that's all."

"Oh." She looked at him, feeling a slight blush come into her cheeks as she explained. "I didn't mean that, the-the couch. I meant, uh, with me, with-me. Like, in my bed. With me."

Was he blushing, too? It was hard to tell in the dark room, lit only by the moonlight coming in through the windows, but she thought so.

"Oh", he said in a hushed tone. His eyes seemed to light up a little as he contemplated the concept of actually sleeping next to her, his wife, for the first time in their marriage.

Or with anyone, ever, really.

Other than with his parents, occasionally, back when he was a very small child, he had never laid with another human being in his life.

He walked to the opposite side of the bed from where she sat, and somewhat awkwardly climbed in, trying his best to keep his distance from her body, in case that made her uncomfortable.

Unexpectedly, she leaned over quite close to him, and softly kissed the corner of his mouth, murmuring a "thank you" in a sleepy-sounding tone.

She felt safe, with him near. Safe and protected. As if there would be no more bad dreams, at least not tonight--and if there were he would chase them all away with his light saber.

She yawned and curled into a small ball, head tucked very close to his chest. He paused for a moment before reaching his hand out to stroke her hair with his fingertips, delicately, as if afraid she might pull away; marveling at how soft it felt, and how pleasant she smelled, and the warmth that she exuded.

She leaned into the touch of his fingers stroking her hair, sighing a little.

She was aware of how awkward this was, at least it felt that way to her; but right then she didn't care.

For the moment she was just glad he was there, with her.

She had intended to just sleep like normal on the far edge of the bed, but found that she really didn't have the energy, right now, to remain distanced from him. 

He was so kind, so sweet, and so--warm. And that was an odd thought in itself. 

The man laying next to her was so--different, from the man she had seen stalking the halls of the Finalizer, in his black robes and cold mask and booming voice. 

The man who, when he was angry with a Trooper or otherwise, would lift them into the air gasping and crying out for breath as invisible fingers tightened around their throats. 

The man whose lightsaber could be heard almost daily slicing through wood and metal amidst screams of disappointment and pure rage. 

THAT man was no where near this man's surface when he was around her. 

The hands that had left vicious wounds on so many people were the same hands that held open doors for her, that pulled out chairs for her to sit in. 

That lifted her off her feet and carried her around as easily as one would carry a doll, when she was tired. 

The voice that caused so many men to cower in fear at the merest syllable was the same one that rattled off an impressive, albeit corny, list of jokes and riddles and stories for her every day in an attempt to get her to laugh, or at least smile.

And he was also fiercely protective of her.

Whereas before during meetings and briefings and mission assignments he had stood aloof and seemingly uninterested in the back of the room, he now took an active interest in any and everything that might possibly involve her, making others nervous as the formerly silent sullen man now voiced opinions and concerns regarding the safety of any given assignment she would be a part of. 

She could tell that the F.O. officers, and even the Troopers, didn't quite know what to think of their marriage.

It did seem odd, but honestly if a stranger were to join the outfit, it would take a while for that person to even realize that the Knight and the General were together in the first place. 

Other than the name change (she was now referred to as General Ren), and the meetings where he always stood a close, watchful distance away, they really had no public contact with each other.

They each had different posts to command, different assignments to be on, and during the course of a normal day they rarely had any public physical interactions with one another.

They did see each other at home, every evening, however. Aedus did her best to make their large complex feel like a home. They each had their own bedroom, still, but they shared a common room space, a kitchen, a Refresher, and a sort of Den/Office, where Aedus sat and did paperwork or read books, and Ren would either read or play for her on their piano, which was a wedding present from Snoke. 

She had not even been aware that Ren knew how to play the instrument, but was impressed nonetheless. It seemed to give him peace, after a hard day, and the soft notes that floated around the room were greatly comforting to, and appreciated by, Aedus.

Aedus had never been much of a cook, but in the beginning of their marriage she made an effort to try and learn for Kylo.

Main meals always seemed to turn out pretty abysmal for her, so after a time she conceded defeat and had the kitchen staff prepare meals for them every evening. 

It surprised her, however, that she WAS quite good in making desserts. The delicate precision, the creativity involved in making cakes and pies and tortes and other such things appealed to her.

And despite her intense dislike for chocolate, she learned how to make several luscious confectionaries with it, earning surprise and eager appreciation from her husband.

They were what she'd call "comfortably affectionate" with each other in private, although in her mind their partnership STILL seemed more like two people who were dating than those who were married. 

And behind closed doors she had no problems engaging in hugging, hand holding, kissing and the like.

Still, there were times when she could feel he wanted--more. That he was confused that no matter what he said, or did, or how otherwise 'physical' she could be with him, that she still seemed unwilling, or unable, to take that ~next~ step. 

She felt bad for him, sometimes, and incredibly guilty when she would pull away from a particularly intense kiss, or involuntarily stiffened during lingering hugs.

And he was being more understanding about the bedroom thing than she had any right to expect. 

It had been almost a year, now, since their wedding, but they had yet to physically consummate their marriage, or even sleep next to each other; but he never once complained, or even voiced his thoughts about it.

She did enjoy the other things, though. And she had to admit that, when they did kiss on the lips, he was quite talented, quite gentle and tender and skillful, which was miraculous considering that he (nor she) had had no prior experiences in the matter. 

She thought that it must be hard for him, and somewhat disheartening, to be subtly rejected in this manner by your own wife. 

It would--be easy for him, criminally easy, to find a --relief--elsewhere.

She had observed, more than once, the female Officers of the F.O. staring at him longingly on the rare occasions he had his helmet off in the conference rooms.

The way their eyes greedily followed his fingers as they pulled through his thick hair or tugged at his lips; the way they seemed to bask in the naturally deep and somewhat hypnotic pitch of his voice.

The way they subtly swooned if he happened to walk near them to pass by, or if his body accidentally brushed up against them in that passing. 

She was no fool; she knew that if any of them ever got him alone and felt like they had a chance of seducing him, they would throw themselves at him and it wouldn't make a bit of difference to them whether he was married or not.

She didn't need the force to sense into that reality; or to know that, should she for any reason decide to leave him, there would be a dozen more than willing candidates ready to step into her place.

Despite all this, he seemed rather oblivious to his obvious desirability. If he knew that he could probably snap his fingers and have any pick of the lot, would he still have chosen her? "In love" or not?

She thought about all this now, as she lay close to him. His body was giving off strong warm waves that she, still feeling kind of chilly, unconsciously gravitated towards.

She scooted closer, laying her head on his bare chest, feeling how steady the rhythm of his breathing was. At first he tensed up a little bit, in surprise, as her getting so close had been very unexpected--then relaxed all at once, marveling at how good this all felt. 

How right. 

How comfortable.

"Do you--want to talk about it? Your dream, I mean." he asked in a low voice, still stroking her hair.

She paused a second before answering "No, not really. I mean--you probably already saw everything that happened, right? It was just--scary. But it's okay, it's nothing to worry about."

"Besides," she continued, feeling her eyelids beginning to droop a little, "I think I've had variations of that dream maybe about 5 million times since I was a teenager, so I'm used to it."

Kylo was silent for a few moments, stroking his wife's hair.

"You--dream about your father a lot. And he's--in your thoughts quite a bit, too. I've never asked you about this before, because even with the mind reading I try to respect your privacy--but--I'm curious--"

She sighed, taking a few moments to calm herself by listening to his heartbeat before speaking.

"We didn't--have--the best of relationships, I guess. My mother died when I was about 2, and my father raised me on his own from that time on. He was a particularly strict man, I think mostly because of his military background. And HIS father was like that, too, so really he had no one to learn any different from.

It's not like, he didn't take very good care of me. He drilled into my mind every tactical and military piece of information he had ever learned, which is how I got to be so good at what I do. By the time I was around 12 or so he sent me to the same Academy he had attended as a boy.

I honestly don't know if I feel like he "loved" me or not. I feel like more often than not he just looked at me as one of his things, his possessions, and his seemingly overflowing devotion towards my schooling and my training wasn't given out of love, but more so a need to make sure that one of his possessions didn't bring him shame or embarrassment in the outside world.

I--loved him, though. All I ever wanted was to make him proud. I'm not sure if I ever fully got that approval; he died shortly before I graduated the Academy, so I never got a chance to ask him.

It's--hard for me to talk about. You know he raised me to keep these sort of things to myself. 

And I know you're worried, Kylo, because I seem to have so many bad dreams and negative thoughts surrounding him; but I don't /want/ you to worry. It's just--the bad dreams are a part of me, of my life. I've -- more or less learned to just live with them."

Kylo was silent for a few moments, taking in all she had just said, before replying.

"Well I want you to know, regardless, that you can talk to me about your dreams, like, if you want to. Or need to. I --have dreams about my father a lot, too."

This made her open her eyes a bit, noticing the change in his tone and his breathing when he mentioned his father. She wanted very badly to ask him about that whole--situation, but felt that it might be crossing the line.

"No, it's okay, it's only natural that you're curious about that." 

He gave a small shuddering sigh, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"You know I --left my family, when I was still a boy, about 8 years old, to train with my Uncle Luke. I knew why my parents sent me away; they knew that I had the makings to be a powerful Jedi, given our family's strong background in the force. 

My mother, although force-sensitive, was never formally trained as a Jedi, so they sent me to train with her twin brother, my Uncle Luke, who received HIS training from Jedi masters Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda.

At first I was--very much engrossed in my training and my Uncle's teachings. But I often found that I had many angry feelings, I think stemming largely from the way I had felt abandoned by my parents, for them sending me to my Uncle. 

It was when I was around 16 or so that, on a trip on my own to a nearby planet to collect supplies for our temple, I met Supreme Leader Snoke. Although I did not know him, he seemed to know a lot about me, and my family. He--was the one who told me about Darth Vader, a person whom neither my parents nor my Uncle had ever mentioned to me before. We kept in communication through holos and any time I was sent back to that planet on an errand, I would make it a priority to go and see him. 

He--filled my mind with stories of the glory of the old empire, and tales of my grandfather's ruling prowess, and--made me believe that I was powerful. More powerful than my Uncle Luke led me to believe. 

He convinced me that my parents had sent me away not out of love, or trying to improve my life, but out of fear and malice. That they knew I was destined to become more powerful than even my grandfather, and had sent me to Luke to try and harness my abilities; to hold me back. And that made me--angry. 

Angry enough to follow through with Snoke's plan to wipe out the Jedi and bring ultimate order and peace to the galaxy under the regime of the First Order. 

One night, while Luke was away on a mission, myself and a group of dark force-users that Snoke had put together rose up and slaughtered all the students and upcoming Jedi at Luke's academy."

His body tensed slightly as he came to this part of the story, but he forged ahead anyway.

"We killed them all. Older students, young ones. Babies. Males and females. Not a single person there escaped the carnage we unleashed.

Luke sensed the deaths through the force, but rather than come back and face me, he took off to a remote planet, in exile for his self-perceived "failings", and shame, and no one has seen him for the better of 13 years.

Supreme Leader Snoke is quite vested in finding him, as you likely know. Luke is quite powerful with the force; I'd wager he is even more powerful than the Supreme Leader, and knowing that he is still alive out there somewhere, and quite possibly building a new Jedi order, makes him--uneasy--to say the least.

Now, in regards to my father--Snoke has always sensed that, although I am committed to the dark side, and to his vision, I am still susceptible to the light. He suggested that this was because I had never fully broken my mental and emotional ties with my family, in particular my father, with whom I was very close as a young child. He said that the only way for the light to be forever extinguished from my soul was to--kill him.

So when the opportunity presented itself at Starkiller Base--I--took it. I looked him in his eyes as I ran his body through with my light saber, and pushed him off the bridge into oblivion. And, well, you probably know about the events that happened right after that.

My mother--is still alive. As you know she is in charge of the Resistance. If there is a single person in my life that I feel truly, honestly genuinely bad about betraying, it's her. 

My parents had their flaws but even I can't deny that they were soul mates, and despite all the arguments and the fighting, they were very much in love with one another. 

I--went on a secret mission, secret even from Snoke, to try and contact her, to--apologize for what I'd done to Han, and say how sorry I am that I hurt her so badly; but I just couldn't face her. I hope that one day I can. Even if she refuses to talk to me, even though I know she could never forgive me--I want to SEE her at least. Just once.

My point is, I dream about --that, incident--quite often. I relive the look of horror and surprise on his face every single night. I know what it is to be afraid of your bad dreams."

Aedus had barely breathed during his story. She knew that she should be feeling something, here, some strong emotion in connection to the events he had just told her about.

As a General of the First Order, she had been on many missions that resulted in the bloodshed of countless people, 'enemies' of the order; she had learned to put aside any personal feelings she may have had towards those deaths, in order to successfully do her duty. 

But what he was describing was on a slightly different level.

He was talking about murdering friends, fellow students, people who trusted him, were once close to him in that other life.

Cutting down children.

Even committing patricide by taking out his own father.

And yet, all she could feel was sadness.

Not for the acts but for the man who committed them.

She sensed a great deal of pain and regret behind his words, and wished she knew some way to comfort him, help him find peace in his soul.

He lay still, quiet and unmoving for a long while, and she wondered if maybe he had fallen asleep. She thought that maybe it was time for her to turn over and sleep herself.

Instead, the one question that had been burning in her mind rose to her lips: "DID killing your father make the light go away?"

He didn't answer, and she thought that for sure he HAD fallen asleep, until a small drop of moisture suddenly fell on her forehead. 

She looked up into his eyes, and saw the tears streaming slowly and helplessly down his cheeks.

He closed his eyes and heaved a trembling sigh, and it was so heartbreakingly vulnerable that her own body ached with it, with his pain, with the hurt that even she could feel radiating out from his heart, and the only thing she could think of to do was lean up and kiss him.

She kissed his lips, his eyes, his cheeks, his ears and nose and neck. Her fingertips gently caressed his face as she tried to comfort him, to soothe him, to take away some measure of the hurting and sickness that he felt.

He didn't respond at first, eyes still squeezed shut against the tears, feeling her lips moving in a slow soft pattern around his face; and suddenly some strong feeling opened up inside of him, like a fire, like molten lava exploding out of his chest and flooding his entire body.

He kissed her back roughly, hungrily, his mouth moving swiftly from her lips to her neck, kissing there, teeth closing into her flesh in a soft bite that caused her to gasp and shudder in his arms, not out of pain or fear but--desire.

Desire blown wide open and released with the force of a storm beating down on a weathered house.

She responded to his sudden intensity, moving her lips to his neck and kissing over the thick muscles there, sliding her hand down the long stony length of his body to lightly trace his groin with her fingers, eliciting a low moan into her ear that caused her entire body to break out in goosebumps.

His hands trembled a bit as he slid her silky nightshirt down her shoulders and pushed it gently down to her waist. He moved his head down and swirled his rough tongue across her small, hard nipples, then lightly tugged at each one with his teeth, first teasing one, then the other.

He moved down further to between her legs, pushing her silk shorts down as he went, and paused for a moment to breathe in the sweet musky scent of her before leaning in and taking her folds between his teeth, nibbling the highly sensitive skin in a way that felt so good it was almost painful.

As he went in further and began to explore with his rough tongue, she let out a soft cry in response, her fingers digging into the softness of his hair to hold him there, legs unconsciously lifting up and head thrown back until she felt she couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm --ready -- I -- you -- Kylo--want -- please " her word came out in a heated, breathy jumble as he came back up.

He must have sensed her fear, because he paused, still breathing hard, and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said, bracing herself for the pain.

He positioned himself at the right angle and went in slowly, conscious of how much smaller she was than him, how delicate, and tried to avoid causing her any hurting.

She yelped for a brief moment in sharp pain as he entered her, biting her lip, feeing a bright, searing flash as he reached the untouched part of her, splitting the skin, causing him to pull back, startled.

"Are you--" he began, but she knew that if he thought she was even in the slightest bit of pain he would end this, and she didn't want that to happen, so instead she stopped his words with a kiss and encouraged him to keep going.

After a few moments the pain faded out, and the tense tightness of her muscles relaxed, allowing him to push further inside of her.

He let out a low, guttural growl as he hit the deepest part of her, sensations of pleasure washing over him that he had never suspected existed before.

He began moving himself slowly at first, trying not to hurt her, but saw that she appeared to be fine, and maybe even enjoying it.

The look on her face as she reached out to clasp her hands behind his neck nearly pushed him over the edge as he increased the intensity of his thrusts, building up the speed and the strength of each stroke.

She became vaguely conscious of a pressure building up deep down in her thighs, like water boiling in a pot, coming closer and closer to the surface with each movement of his hips, close to overflowing.

Suddenly his body stiffened all around her, and he let out a very loud cry into her ear as she felt something spasm from the muscle that was inside of her.

At the same time the building sensation in her body tipped over and overflowed, spreading bright sharp intense waves of pleasure and heat all over her body.

She moaned out softly, murmuring his name over and over against his lips, like a prayer, until the shaking-shuddering feeling crested and ebbed, leaving her entire body feeling spent, but at the same time loose, and languid and smooth.

He gently extracted the part of himself that had made a connection between them, and rolled lightly over into his side, facing her.

Glistening with sweat, they both laid there for a few minutes, not speaking, panting softly as they waited for their breathing and heart rate to slow.

Eventually, she reached over and touched his face, lightly, looking at him, at his expressive eyes and flushed skin and sweat-matted hair, his full dark lips.

Thinking of--how unfairly handsome he was.

How strong.

How wonderful his body had felt on hers. 

Thinking of the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.

The way he licked chocolate off the spoon the first time he ever came to her quarters, when she was sick.

Thinking of how he could kill a man with a single thought, yet when he came home to her, he all but radiated with tender, gentle affection.

And she was thinking, or rather, wishing, that she could read minds, like him.

Wishing she could know what HE was thinking.

"I'm thinking that --I love you." He said, breaking the silence by answering her unspoken question.

. . . I love you, too."

He smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I know."

She let that sit for a moment, before scooting closer and laying her head once more on his chest, her tiny legs strung over his waist.

"I hope you don't have to be on the bridge tomorrow; we're going to have quite a busy day, here."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well geez Kylo, turning these two bedrooms into one isn't going to be an easy task, here. It'll require a lot of hauling and moving and organizing--"

"Or I can just move everything around with the force while you tell me where you want stuff to go."

She smiled. "That could work, too."

"Of course it'll work for YOU, silly, I'LL be the one doing the 'heavy lifting', he said in a teasing smirk.

She quickly leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. "Shut up, and go to bed. I --love you."

She was about to drift off when his voice broke through the fog, "What will we do with the spare bedroom?"

"Keep it empty for now, maybe? I think maybe, one day, it would make a really nice--nursery."

He smiled in response. "I guess that's something we'll have to --work on--, right?", as his hand playfully and suggestively slid down her thigh.

She smirked, grabbing his hand and moving it back up to wrap around her waist. "~Someday~ isn't ~today~, buddy. Now get some rest, Lord Ren."

"Yes, dear," he yawned, pulling her in tighter and tucking his chin into her hair as he drifted off towards sleep.


End file.
